January 3rd, 2012

 Aunt Florence - Circa 1967

Aunt Florence - Circa 2009

Good Morning. Today is going to be [quote, unquote] "one of those days". I haven't slept all night and when I have these bouts of insomnia it usually wreaks havoc on my body, exaggerating my pain and stiffness. I have sleeping pills that have been prescribed for me but I am not a fan of taking anything that "alters my sense of awareness"....not even just for that brief period before it causes me to fall asleep. I would make the worlds worst drug addict; I absolutely hate that feeling of being "high". I've got a doctors appointment with an Opthalmologist (Dr. Flowers) this afternoon. She is going to give me the low down on this cataract I have developed on my right eye and schedule my surgery to have it removed. Then it's off to Aunt Florence's house (her other house I should say....but that's another story for another time) to meet up with the cable company so they can install internet access for her. I spent 3 hours with her this past Saturday teaching her how to pay her bill's online. We set up a "Gmail" email account for her, bookmarked all of the websites she will need to re-visit when it's bill paying time again next month, and got her all set up to be able to view and make changes to her bank account online. Amazingly enough, despite her being 70 years old, she did awesome. She does use a computer in her office (she is a Clinical Psychologist for a nearby Community Services Board) but had not had much experience with using the internet prior to our "session" on Saturday. Florence has become somewhat of a "ruler" by which I measure myself. When she was a child, sometime around 1947, she was diagnosed with RA....the old country doctor told her parents (my husbands grandparents Howard and Mary) that Florence would become "bedridden" and to basically just expect to have to provide her with total care for the rest of her life. He couldn't have been more wrong. Florence has been going "mach 5 with her hair on fire" from the time she left her mothers womb; even today she is [I swear] in better overall health than I am. She doesn't take not one medication of any kind, and she has lived/and still lives a very active and busy life. I figure if she can rise above RA and not let it rule her life then I surely ought to be able to at least live outside of the pre-set margins/limitations that are imposed by this disease. Don't you think? I guess we all need a "hero" in our lives....amd she has become [one of] mine. So....just out of curiosity, I wonder....When ya'll are at your wits end with something in your life, whatever that may be, what do you do to "de-stress" and get some new perspective so you can re-group and continue on...??? I have had the same type of ritual since I was probably in my early 20's - a friend of mine suggested to me recently that what I do to de-stress is actually a symptom of depression. When things get to be too much for me I "sleep". I lay down, or "shut down" if you will....I have been known to sleep for as much as 12-14 hours during this process. Regardless of  the type of issue(s) or problem that is plaguing me if I sleep I always awaken re-charged and ready to do battle....and most often it produces a positive end result. Well, chime in and let me know what your strategy is....I am off to get a little coffee (liquid CPR as I call it...) in me so I can be as eloquent and resourceful as possible on this day. Have a good one.....Be safe, be well, and above all else...be Happy!

I've Been Thinking.....

As I started really thinking about what I could possibly have to say that would be enough to support actually having a "blog" it occurred to me; I am a totally long winded, prolific, author on a daily basis...or at least I have been for the past 5 years or so, since I joined the "social media" craze. I post [almost] daily on Facebook a "status update" that reads like War and Peace. When you're just "think-talking" it flows out of you like air would out of a leaky tire with a gaping hole in it. But, when you are sitting at the computer [like I am now] and you are really trying to think of something to write it  feels like someone gave you a lobotomy; you can think of nothing intelligent or otherwise to say. So, for lack of being able to decide on a good place to start this [blogging thing] I am going to rob some text from a recent conversation I had with a friend. It details the very most recent changes that have taken place both in my life and with regard to my RA - which I guess are one in the same.

Yes, it's true I have been somewhat MIA on FB lately....and you're right it is mostly due to my just being being [holiday] busy. I've also had some big changes occurring as well. I saw a new (Yep, another one....this is my 4th one in 3 years *sigh*) Rheumatologist yesterday. I felt like I had gone as far as I could with the one I had been seeing. He didn't listen to me (a huge thing of major importance to me....and I imagine most people would feel the same) when I would try to explain about how I was feeling and my opinion on this medication and that medication were working, or not working, etc. So....I looked around and managed to find thee only RA doctor in the entire state of Virginia that specializes in treating people (like me) that have both RA and Fibromyalgia and fought my way in to get an appt. with him. I'm nervous because this new dotor has decided to take me back (basically) to "square one" and put me back on two RA drugs that I didn't have good experiences with the first go-around....But, I am running out of options so I (really) have no choice but to follow his lead. I simply cannot take the most commonly used RA drugs (called Bio-logics) because these are the meds that have landed me in the hospital w/ pneumonia 3 times in LESS than 3 years now. The drugs are called "Plaquinel" and "Methotrexate" --- it's the latter that freaks me out because it is a chemo-therapy drug and you know what that does to people....it's awful. The last time I was on it (and at a smaller dose than what this doctor now has me taking) I was soooo sick and my hair fell out by the fistfuls. This time I will be taking it "Sub-Q" and not in pill form, which I assume will make it more potent in my system.Yikes! I'm just backed in a corner with no where to go. My eyesight is suffering from all these drugs they have had me taking over the past 3 years. I have a cataract on my right eye now that has to be removed....And as if that's not bad enough....My teeth are so bad (crumbling as if they are made out of chalk) that I have to go in to the hospital as an overnight patient and have them all pulled at one time and have implant posts put in, which will later (a day or so later they tell me) be fitted with my implant teeth they have already fashioned (molded) for me at the dentists office. So....it's a matter of "round and round, and round we go, where I stop nobody knows" scenario for the moment. Frustrating and disheartening to say the least. I flat refuse to give up on regaining some semblance of normalcy in my life again. I am not a quitter - I've survived a lot in my lifetime.... and by the same token I am by far so much better off than some people are in the grand scheme of things....so who am I to complain about being stiff and hurting? Ya know? At least I can [still] walk..!! I am also taking a pain med daily/on a regular basis now, Lortab 10/500 every 6 hrs. --- my first ever since this all started. Up to this point I had refused all pain meds that were offered except when I was in the hospital. Now, well....I just can't really deal with the magnitude of pain I have on a daily basis without something to help offset it/make it more manageable. They have also given me something for sleep (I have a lot of insomnia issues) called Temazepam 15 mg.  that knocks me on my butt like I've been hit with an elephant tranquilizer gun....so I've been sleeping alot....another reason I've been absent from Facebook lately. I imagine once I get adjusted to all these new medications I will be okay. 

And that's about it. Tomorrow (January 3rd, 2012) I will be seeing an Ophthalmologist about the cataract that has developed on my right eye. I am told by others that the surgery to remove them is relatively quick, easy, and painless these days. I sure hope so because there hasn't been much resembling any of those three things in my life for quite some time....I'll keep you posted.  

Introduction - Dedication

It has been suggested to me on many an occasion that I begin "blogging" the journey that my life has not only taken...meaning my "Pre-Rheumatoid Arthritis" life, but to also keep a reoccurring journal of how my life has changed since my diagnosis in October 2008....So, I am going to give this a try. I want to thank Terry Kuykendall, Tracey Bristow, Lori Chunko, Kathryn Sablan, and Candace Sanchez for inspiring me to make this leap into charting the chronicles of "Me"....